An Invasion of Space

This will be a short blog, as it's content is reasonably emotive for me.

I'm going to share a secret with you, which is an issue very close to my heart.

I have a phobia of spit.

I do not like it. I do not like thinking about it. I avoid it as much as possible and YES the thought of getting off with a total stranger does not have the wonderful allure for me I know it does for some others out there.

The subject of spit is difficult as it is. It is somewhat easier however, if I know the origins of the spit. It's background details. Where it was raised, how it came to be, what kind of morals it has. Whether it eats Cheese Wotsits- vile invention *shudder*

So I have to take into account certain situations, social situations, where my little phobia might be a problem.

I don't mind people knowing that I dislike spit. In fact, in some ways I suppose it helps.

It may stop some of you asking "Can I have a bite?" of my food - No you cannot. It's mine. Now back off before I gauge out your eyes with my taco - a situation which usually results in me having to surrender over that whole piece of food, no matter what it is, because I can't bear the thought of your spit still somewhere being present on my food. It's not that I don't like sharing, please don't misunderstand. It's just your horrible, vile, mouth liquid - it offends me in ways you can't possibly imagine. I'm quite fine in an Indian restaurant etc, where maybe we'll all spoon our dishes from the same origin onto our plates - providing you do not like your spoon and go back for more! If no foul-play takes place then by all means, take me out for a curry.

But it can be difficult sometimes when people want to share some of your water. I mean, who am I to deny someone water if they are thirsty? Of course if someone asks, can I have some of your drink, I give it to them, whole heartedly.

I just can't have it back.

And then I'm thirsty. This probably becomes evident as my face starts to shrivel from fluid shortage, and people will say, "Oh here, have it back! I'm done now!" and I'll say
"Oh no, I'm fine, you finish it off!" and they'll say

"No, no, there's loads left... you go ahead..." at which I will look at the bottle, and it's fullness, because of course - people always ask for a drink at the start of the bottle. Never when its got less than half left, for fear they'll seem rude. Ruder still, of course, would be for me to say
"Hang on, I'm just glugging down as much as possible before you put your disgusting spit lips around it and I won't want it anymore!"

That's how you lose friends, my friend.

So you can imagine my discomfort now, when the man sitting next to me is snorting phlegm up and down his throat, not getting rid of it, or attempting to, and occasionally just breathing heavily and looking over at my screen.

If you are reading this, concentrate on your own monitor, and get a bloody tissue.

Over and out folks, I'm going to be sick x