So, are you a writer?

It was such a long and difficult battle between pride and self doubt that it actually took me a while to get the words out. It was silly really, looking back at how worked up I was over it. But sometime last April, I realised it was actually preferable to refer to myself no longer as a 'student bum', as I have done for so many years - but to instead reveal I am a writer.

I was terrified that someone would laugh at me and call me a fraud, like it was something I wasn't allowed to do because I wasn't good enough yet, even though it's something that I've always done.

In my earliest childhood memories where I recall school bus trips to farms and coal mines, I think of all of us piling onto the bus in single file. Jammed into cramped rows of scratchy seating, which would irriate the skin near my knees if my skirt wasn't long enough to pull down and cover it. I'd peer over the shoulder of the person in front and try to catch a glimpse of whatever text they were reading. Then I'd try to guess which novel it was from.

I'd rarely take my own on trips, although I favoured Enid Blyton enormously. Instead, I'd have a pen and paper and would make up my own tales, with a particular fondness for the extended adventues of a little mouse named Malcolm. When each story was over, I'd whip out my colouring pencils and illustrate the damn thing. By my own admittance, I was one freaky five year old.

But even so, being an early starter didn't mean I was actually any good at it.

When I made the decision to enrol in a Creative Writing MA at uni, it was because I knew I'd only ever really allow myself one shot to dabble in a career as a writer. I decided I'd give myself five years where either I put my name out there and got something back, or I'd wrap the whole thing up and continue to write short stories to myself about Malcolm on the Megabus.

In the early days, when I was first sussing out the scene, I often encountered writers who thought of themselves as tortured artists. No doubt about it, these people were a lot better at it than myself, but it always seemed such a shame to me when they talked about having no inspiration. No passion or desire to sit down and create something - they made it sound like such hard work. As if they were somehow being punished for being blessed with the gift. Or something.

I don't have a gift, but I'll be damned if that's going to stop me.

I write because it's fun. I amuse myself. But I do know I'm a long way away from being anywhere near a "good" writer. I realise it's a long process, and believe me, I'm working on it. I'd love for other people to enjoy my writing too, which is why I'm making an effort to put myself "out there" but hell, the day I sit down at a typewriter and bleed is the day I pack it in.

I don't mean that in the sense of meeting deadlines. I know they're difficult. I've had my days where I've considered balling it up and eating the script as opposed to re-drafting it. But it's a process I crave, and something I enjoy doing.

October has been a bit of an amazing month. I handed in my final dissertation and am going at full speed trying to get a completed novel written in the next six months. I've also had two opportunities to show my work in front of a live audience. The first was at a Scratch that Itch! NTW Event at Monkey, Swansea, and the other was actually today at theatre Na'nog, Neath. My fantastic month will then be topped off with a final performance being shown in Cardiff at Dirty Protest.

In rehearsal, I've often been warned not to tread on anyone's toes, and to remember that "you are the writer, so let the actors act, and the director direct."

I couldn't agree more.

That said, when you're working with such an amazing team, such as the people at Theatr Na'Nog today, it feels good handing something over and knowing that the end process is that the performance is going to be the best it possibly can be. It's not often I'm given the privilege to see people doing something they love, which also happens to be their job, and doing it really bloody well.

It was not a hard or ardous process. I didn't need to add anything, as everything I wanted to say was down on my script, and these individuals brought it to life in a way my solitary scratch marks on paper has never been able to...

And it's bloody brilliant, aye!

The best thing about live theatre, for me, is the immediate audience reaction. It's a feeling that leaves me buzzing for days, and ultimately craving more.

Now, when people ask me what I do, I leap at the chance to tell them I'm a BBC Production Trainee -- and not just because I don't have the option of 'student' to hide behind any more.

Often, people seem to think that because I've gone into production work, I'm suddenly no longer a writer, but that's not the case. I write because I have ideas. I have stories I want to share, and it doesn't matter how long I try to supress them, they find a way of getting out. Whether I'm scribbling whilst sat on the back of a motorbike, writing on receipts when I'm supposed to be tidying coat hangers in work, or trying to entertain myself on the Megabus.

I'm a story addict. Anyone's story. Yours, mine...I write because it's the most basic way accessible to me. With a pen and paper I can tell people about a whole different world!

But production brings it to life. And to me, that's a gift.

Not something I suffer or struggle against. Something I revel in. And a process I'm so proud to be a part of.

*Next Blog Update - 17th October, where I'll have started my first week training as a BBC Production Trainee in White City, London*